I. Boys are not necessary for a good time. I've had grand times at dances and have never gone with boys.

II. Bad dates are much, much worse than going by yourself in a tattered garment.

III. "Going as friends" with guys works in theory but rarely in fact, unless you have a major crush on "the friend."

IV. Be proactive and organize a group of girls to go together. Honestly? You'll have so much more fun. You can even take your BFF to prom and have a good time jamming to Rihanna.

V. Never, ever feel like you have to accept someone to be polite or that you're a loser because you don't have a date to a dance. Never. It's just not true.

I. Never wear black. Why? Everyone else will be wearing black and who wants to look like everyone else?

II. While fashion zines like Teen Vogue might provide ideas for those with $$ and skinny legs, there are alternatives. I love Manolo for the Big Girl (http://www.manolobig.com/), which features plus-size fashion advice.

III. Don't kill your piggy back for a dress you'll wear only once. If it's getting pricey, make sure you can identify at least 3 times you will need this dress.

IV. If you've seen this style of dress in more than two stores, don't buy it. Someone else will be wearing it.

V. Try on the wacky, crazy stuff. And at the end of the day, buy a dress you love, that's affordable, that looks good on you, and don't you dare look at the size on the sticker.

VI. To achieve this, it is best to shop alone. Moms and friends can be well-meaning but a distraction to The Higher Call.

I. Go cheap, because nobody will ever know. Try For Love 21 or Claire's for really cheap earrings, or mega sales at department stores. Target and Wal-Mart are options too.

II. Clutches should be big enough to hold your stuff, and should probably not be the same color as your dress.

III. Ask your grandmother or mom for their old clutches from their school dances. Antique, unique, and free!

I. Always check that you have the correct underwear on the day of. Sound silly? Have you ever tried to find a strapless bra 10 minutes before you go?

II. Allow at least 1.75 hours before you leave for getting ready, spent in the following way (for an 8pm pick-up)

6:15pm: Take shower

6:30: Check that your legs are shaven. Wash your face.

6:40: Do your nails (unless you got them done already... but why spend the $50?) Turn on appropriate music (ABBA, Lizzie McGuire, Disney Classics)

7:00 Blow-dry your hair

7:15 Appropriate curling and styling

7: 35: Make-up! It really doesn't take that long

7:55: Put that dress on, girl! Don't forget to put on extra deoderant and perfume

8:00 Run downstairs with your shoes on

I. Limos are overrated.

I. Do not grind if you do not think grinding is cool. I think grinding is the grossest thing to invade our culture, so I dance.

II. Never allow yourself to be touched inappropriately, by anybody. Period. Walk away, talk to a teacher, yell at him.

III. You will not be the prettiest girl there. There is no "prettiest girl there." Appreciate your beauty and that of your neighbor's.

IV. Always request Mamma Mia, Everytime We Touch and Heaven.

I. Immediately call The Friend That Was Not There to chat.

II. Realize that high school dances are fun, but not the be-all end-all of existence.

III. Put everything away and wash your face.

IV. Go to bed a tired but self-respecting princess.

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