"The core of man’s* spirit comes from new experiences." –Chris McCandless

As far as Major Life Moments go, I’ve got plenty. My parents getting divorced, me learning to read, various memorable trips… none of those, however, can really be called single events. Sometimes the most important moments in life only last a few minutes. This one was a mere 148.

On my 15th birthday, July 10th 2008 I picked out three movies at VisArt and let my dad and sister chose one of the three. They picked the one at the bottom of my list, Into the Wild, but I didn’t mind all that much. There wasn’t much special about it to me, and I already knew the ending. He dies. (No that doesn't ruin the story). It had been on my list for a few months, though, so I figured, “Why not?” My plan was to enjoy the movie after presents and birthday pie, then go to sleep and wake up the next day and continue life as usual. Simple as that!

Whether unfortunately or fortunately, though, things that seem incredibly straightforward sometimes end up differently. I didn’t just enjoy the movie … I loved it; adored it. The soundtrack was one of the best I’d ever heard and I bought it as soon as I could, listening to it over and over again. I was addicted!

If a great fondness for a movie and its music qualifies as a major life event, so do dozens of others. This wasn’t merely a fondness but something more. Something about the movie had reached me on a deeper level than anyone could have expected. I got the urge to run away.

Now, I know that might sound childish. Pack some sandwiches in a red-checkered bandana, tie it to a stick, sling it over your shoulder and it’s off down the road for no more than a mile because of some petty argument with a parent, right? Not quite. I wanted to run away not from home but from society itself, like Chris McCandless. I wanted to leave the realm of rules and unoriginal thought and brainwashing and boxes … so many boxes. Box stores, boxes of stuff, boxes keeping me as “normal” as possible, trying to avoid anything against the routine, barely letting me dent the walls.

Don’t get me wrong, my life is wonderful, with great friends, family, classes, things to do, and other remarkable movies, music, books… but I can’t seem to shake the thought that something is wrong. Are we as a people supposed to be living the way we are now, surrounded by things, bombarded by messages, using material possessions to occupy us while we go through the monotony that is high school for college, college for jobs, jobs for retirement, retirement for death, death for … what? I don’t want to waste my time waiting to find the answer. I want to live!

Generally, a movie where the main character dies at the end because of what they did shouldn’t make me want to follow in their footsteps, but I got more inspiration out of the movie than negativity. A warning, maybe, to treat life more carefully than Chris did and not to isolate yourself, but still a wish for others to seek adventure in a similar way.

I expected this feeling to leave me after a while, but it’s been a month and a half and it’s still going strong. Sadly, I feel that there is no possible way for me to experience the living I long for. Along with my wild side, I have a practical side as well. A side that tells me I want to get good grades and hang out with friends and help the cross country team win a fourth state title. A side that says this is impossible. Right now I’m just frustrated … but I think it’s worth it. Who would’ve guessed a movie that started out as a fun birthday pick would turn into such a coming-of-age experience?

“Got a mind full of questions and a teacher in my soul” –Eddie Vedder, “Guaranteed”

*and girl's